LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

First off: AARGH ARRGH AARGH! AAAAARGH!!!
I just wrote a whole stupid journal and stupid DA stupid well decided to stupid lose the stupid thing. Grrrrrrr. I'm definitely going to start writing them in Word first.

Deeeep breath.

Right. Try again.

First things first, a big congratulations to the winners of `Beccalicious’s mini-contests, and good luck to everyone taking part in her final script-writing contest! I’m featuring the winners of the contests, so go for a wee trek towards the bottom of the page for those. I’m not sure if I’m going to be participating in the last contest… I was considering developing the train station monologue I wrote into a full play, but entries for the contest have to be no more than 30 minutes long, and I have a feeling it’s going to want to be longer than that. I’m not even sure which direction I want to take it in, whether it should have a message or just be a series of events that the audience has to find their own message in. Maybe I’ll do something completely different.

The other exciting literary event is the return of *MSJames’s Haikuthon! The aim is to write a haiku every day for the month of July, and I’m really looking forward to it. I hope I’ll be able to improve as much as I have on previous haiku events!

As you may have noticed, my writer’s block has gone back to live in the cupboard full of dubious bottles containing oddly-coloured chemicals under the sink. I’m hoping it intends to stay put for a while. My dizziness has died down a lot, as well.

What else has been going on in the real world? Hmm. I went to another fancy dress party the weekend before last. My costume was somewhat last minute (I was busy revising, all right?) but at least I made an effort. I went as an angler fish, which involved having cardboard fins and a neon ping-pong ball on a pipe-cleaner attached to my head. Everyone thought I was an alien, though. It was at a club, which isn’t usually my scene, but I saw a load of old friends and bopped about a bit. My ping-pong ball kept attacking me, though!

Work is still… less than thrilling. But I’m getting money from it, and I’ll actually get to earn minimum wage once I’m 18.

Now then, the exams… FP3 (another maths module) went well enough, except I know I used the wrong formula at one point, but it wasn’t worth that many marks. I got some essay help from my biology teacher for the synoptic paper, as essays aren’t exactly my forte. And the paper went remarkably well – one of the essays that I’d written for a practice paper came up! The chemistry exams went very well too – none of the things I dislike came up and I actually quite enjoyed one of the papers.

And then there were the AEAs… *dramatic music* That stands for Advanced Extension Award, by the way. They’re really hard, and I’m not quite sure why I volunteered to do them. But they actually went much better than I expected! The biology one was fun in a challenging sort of way. I had to write two essays, but, having written a fair few now, I’m getting to quite like them. Which will come in handy, given that I’m going to be writing a fair few at university. The chemistry one was extremely difficult, but at least I had a go. I have no idea if I’ve passed either of them (apparently half the people that take chemistry AEA fail… ), but it doesn’t matter if I haven’t.

And now the exams are finally over and I’m freeeeeeeee!!! *joyful jig* I just have to hope and pray I’ve got the marks I need for my university offer.

I was in a play last weekend, the one where I play a drunken dancehall girl from 1906 called Maude. It went well enough… the main characters needed quite a few prompts, but we got through it. My sister was in another play at the same show (it was sort of two mini-plays). She acted excellently (or so I’m told, I didn’t actually get to see the performance myself, but I imagine she did very well), and I’m given to understand that I was perfectly sufficient, remembered my lines in a very appropriate manner and did an absolutely adequate drunken stumble. It’s my last play with that theatre group, how sad.

I went to my friend’s house yesterday, and we had a nice chat and played video games (because we’re cool like that). Tomorrow is Leavers’ Day (I expect it’s going to involve a lot of dull paperwork and a lot of dull people), and the last time I’ll go into college before results day. That’s a horrifying thought. And the Leavers’ Ball is tomorrow night, too, which I doubt I’ll love, but it will make things feel properly concluded.

And, of course, now that I'm on holiday, I can finally catch up on all those deviations etc I've let build up! Huzzahs!

And with that, I shall bid you adieu!

Sold! To the girl with the inane grin and absolutely no mercy when it comes to terrible puns!

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FEATURETTE

A Catalogue for Enlightenment by *leoraigarath

This won `Beccalicious’s monologue contest, and rightly so. *leoraigarath brings us a unique character, gives her depth and makes her believable. His attention to detail in terms of the way his character, Daniel, talks and how much thought he has put into the background of this unashamed whore is really impressive.

“Daniel: That’s what I fucking do. Heh. Fucking do… that’s a little word play there. Heh. Well, what can I say – give me a fifty and I’d do you too. Seriously. Tell me when and where and slip that green-slip and I’ll bark like a rabid puppy, if that’s your thing. I know what I do, and I don’t care to admit it, I’m a whore, a fornicatrix. I’m a prostitute, a sales-woman, a slut, a harlot, a drab, hooker, Sandy, Mindy, Trixi, Pixie, Moses – whatever is your thing, for a price I’ll be it. Hell yeah!”

The Players' Epilogue by *orphicfiddler

And this one won the scene contest, another good choice. There are so many brilliantly funny moments in this, and I think the concept is excellent. *orphicfiddler masterfully breaks the fourth wall in this hilarious exploration of the fate of lesser characters.

“X: I demand compensation! I demand a more equal part in this production! Why should we be relegated to the sidelines while our entirely melodramatic hero sips away the attention span of the audience? It is we who prevent this play from growing too dull, and yet you kill us off with as little regard as a farm-boy hacking off the head of his least favorite chicken! You are inhuman, Almighty Playwright! You, who delight in dashing our lives with vengeance upon the parquet floor of insanity! (Emits a piercing wail.) You make me ill…

Y: ‘Cause that wasn’t melodramatic at all…”

Click here for the second place and honourable mention entries!

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TAG

This one brought to you by ~ija8879 and ~BlondStrawberry. The idea is that if you comment and ask me to do this tag-majiggy, I will:

a) tell you why I friended you,
b) associate you with something (fandom, song, colour, photo, etc.),
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) and tell you my favourite deviation of yours.

…and then you’re supposed to post it in your journal, but I won’t tell on you if you don’t.

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ARTISTIC PLUG

*Adopt-A-Writer provides the opportunity to mentor others or be mentored yourself for poetry, prose or both. I’ve been adopted by ~Myror and have adopted the charming *kitit21.