LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

First off: AARGH ARRGH AARGH! AAAAARGH!!!
I just wrote a whole stupid journal and stupid DA stupid well decided to stupid lose the stupid thing. Grrrrrrr. I'm definitely going to start writing them in Word first.

Deeeep breath.

Right. Try again.

First things first, a big congratulations to the winners of `Beccalicious’s mini-contests, and good luck to everyone taking part in her final script-writing contest! I’m featuring the winners of the contests, so go for a wee trek towards the bottom of the page for those. I’m not sure if I’m going to be participating in the last contest… I was considering developing the train station monologue I wrote into a full play, but entries for the contest have to be no more than 30 minutes long, and I have a feeling it’s going to want to be longer than that. I’m not even sure which direction I want to take it in, whether it should have a message or just be a series of events that the audience has to find their own message in. Maybe I’ll do something completely different.

The other exciting literary event is the return of *MSJames’s Haikuthon! The aim is to write a haiku every day for the month of July, and I’m really looking forward to it. I hope I’ll be able to improve as much as I have on previous haiku events!

As you may have noticed, my writer’s block has gone back to live in the cupboard full of dubious bottles containing oddly-coloured chemicals under the sink. I’m hoping it intends to stay put for a while. My dizziness has died down a lot, as well.

What else has been going on in the real world? Hmm. I went to another fancy dress party the weekend before last. My costume was somewhat last minute (I was busy revising, all right?) but at least I made an effort. I went as an angler fish, which involved having cardboard fins and a neon ping-pong ball on a pipe-cleaner attached to my head. Everyone thought I was an alien, though. It was at a club, which isn’t usually my scene, but I saw a load of old friends and bopped about a bit. My ping-pong ball kept attacking me, though!

Work is still… less than thrilling. But I’m getting money from it, and I’ll actually get to earn minimum wage once I’m 18.

Now then, the exams… FP3 (another maths module) went well enough, except I know I used the wrong formula at one point, but it wasn’t worth that many marks. I got some essay help from my biology teacher for the synoptic paper, as essays aren’t exactly my forte. And the paper went remarkably well – one of the essays that I’d written for a practice paper came up! The chemistry exams went very well too – none of the things I dislike came up and I actually quite enjoyed one of the papers.

And then there were the AEAs… *dramatic music* That stands for Advanced Extension Award, by the way. They’re really hard, and I’m not quite sure why I volunteered to do them. But they actually went much better than I expected! The biology one was fun in a challenging sort of way. I had to write two essays, but, having written a fair few now, I’m getting to quite like them. Which will come in handy, given that I’m going to be writing a fair few at university. The chemistry one was extremely difficult, but at least I had a go. I have no idea if I’ve passed either of them (apparently half the people that take chemistry AEA fail… ), but it doesn’t matter if I haven’t.

And now the exams are finally over and I’m freeeeeeeee!!! *joyful jig* I just have to hope and pray I’ve got the marks I need for my university offer.

I was in a play last weekend, the one where I play a drunken dancehall girl from 1906 called Maude. It went well enough… the main characters needed quite a few prompts, but we got through it. My sister was in another play at the same show (it was sort of two mini-plays). She acted excellently (or so I’m told, I didn’t actually get to see the performance myself, but I imagine she did very well), and I’m given to understand that I was perfectly sufficient, remembered my lines in a very appropriate manner and did an absolutely adequate drunken stumble. It’s my last play with that theatre group, how sad.

I went to my friend’s house yesterday, and we had a nice chat and played video games (because we’re cool like that). Tomorrow is Leavers’ Day (I expect it’s going to involve a lot of dull paperwork and a lot of dull people), and the last time I’ll go into college before results day. That’s a horrifying thought. And the Leavers’ Ball is tomorrow night, too, which I doubt I’ll love, but it will make things feel properly concluded.

And, of course, now that I'm on holiday, I can finally catch up on all those deviations etc I've let build up! Huzzahs!

And with that, I shall bid you adieu!

Sold! To the girl with the inane grin and absolutely no mercy when it comes to terrible puns!

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FEATURETTE

A Catalogue for Enlightenment by *leoraigarath

This won `Beccalicious’s monologue contest, and rightly so. *leoraigarath brings us a unique character, gives her depth and makes her believable. His attention to detail in terms of the way his character, Daniel, talks and how much thought he has put into the background of this unashamed whore is really impressive.

“Daniel: That’s what I fucking do. Heh. Fucking do… that’s a little word play there. Heh. Well, what can I say – give me a fifty and I’d do you too. Seriously. Tell me when and where and slip that green-slip and I’ll bark like a rabid puppy, if that’s your thing. I know what I do, and I don’t care to admit it, I’m a whore, a fornicatrix. I’m a prostitute, a sales-woman, a slut, a harlot, a drab, hooker, Sandy, Mindy, Trixi, Pixie, Moses – whatever is your thing, for a price I’ll be it. Hell yeah!”

The Players' Epilogue by *orphicfiddler

And this one won the scene contest, another good choice. There are so many brilliantly funny moments in this, and I think the concept is excellent. *orphicfiddler masterfully breaks the fourth wall in this hilarious exploration of the fate of lesser characters.

“X: I demand compensation! I demand a more equal part in this production! Why should we be relegated to the sidelines while our entirely melodramatic hero sips away the attention span of the audience? It is we who prevent this play from growing too dull, and yet you kill us off with as little regard as a farm-boy hacking off the head of his least favorite chicken! You are inhuman, Almighty Playwright! You, who delight in dashing our lives with vengeance upon the parquet floor of insanity! (Emits a piercing wail.) You make me ill…

Y: ‘Cause that wasn’t melodramatic at all…”

Click here for the second place and honourable mention entries!

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TAG

This one brought to you by ~ija8879 and ~BlondStrawberry. The idea is that if you comment and ask me to do this tag-majiggy, I will:

a) tell you why I friended you,
b) associate you with something (fandom, song, colour, photo, etc.),
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) and tell you my favourite deviation of yours.

…and then you’re supposed to post it in your journal, but I won’t tell on you if you don’t.

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ARTISTIC PLUG

*Adopt-A-Writer provides the opportunity to mentor others or be mentored yourself for poetry, prose or both. I’ve been adopted by ~Myror and have adopted the charming *kitit21.

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Heck, it's all happening at the moment. Still a huge heap of deviations to go through, but I am slowly working my way through the exams.

I don't even remember when I last wrote a journal... I think it was before my first day at work. Eh, I'll go from there.

Sooo... my first day was all right enough. I had to watch a load of stupid health and safety videos about how to lift things properly, and some demoralising stuff about The Worst Kind of Crime (ie stealing from the company). But I did some tidying, which was perfectly tolerable. I did have to walk home in my stupid boots, and managed to rub some fairly significant blisters on the soles of my feet.

The rest of that week was basically just revision. And avoiding revision. And some nice walks with the dogs and my dad. Oh, and I had two maths exams - statistics and mechanics - which went pretty well. I don't need to pass them anyway, so I'm not fretting about those.

My grandparents came over last weekend, and my dad went to visit his parents. My grandparents generally left me to my work, which was fine by me. And we went for a walk round the block with our dogs and discovered that the new housing estate they've built up the road has closed off our usual route, despite the fact that it was made very clear early on, when planning permission was being sought, that they would have to keep that footpath open. We were quite disgruntled.

There has been some justice recently, however - my dad managed to get Tesco to put the organic meatballs in a different place from the vegetarian food, because it is misleading. He was very pleased when he found out, and was considering becoming some kind of politician. I guess you have to savour the little victories over big companies that crush everything and a government that goes out of their way to let them.

Anyway. I had work that weekend, for which I had bought some new shoes. I now have blisters on my heels as well. But I got to go on the till, which I'm not very good at but at least I try. They got me to work on Sunday as well, much to my mother's dismay, but I've said I can only work Saturdays from now on until my exams are over.

This week involved an awful lot of revision (by my feeble standards), and I kept getting giddy. The giddiness was really bad yesterday, when I was doing revision at school in the morning before my chemistry exam. And then I had a really bad panic attack because of the giddiness, which wasn't ideal. But I got it all pretty much under control when it actually came to the exam, and I was focussing so hard I didn't really have time to be giddy or whatever. That exam was all right, a couple of odd questions.

That evening I went to see a doctor and he said I have benign something or other. It's a condition that I have all the time, apparently, but it's made worse by stress or tiredness, which is probably why I'm only just noticing it. Hopefully it will go away after the exams, but for now I have some tablets that make the giddiness go away. And I don't get drowsy from them at all, so I can have them before my exams!

I had a biology exam today, which went well enough. None of the topics that I really like came up, but then I don't like many of the topics on this paper (it's nearly all physiology and anatomy, and I prefer cellular biology and biochemistry). There weren't any questions where I felt totally lost, which is always good.

My hay fever's really bad at the moment, and none of my assorted medications are working very well. So I feel pretty sorry for all the folk sitting near me in my exam, as I sniffle away in the silence.

Next week is absolute mayhem examwise, and I have a party and work. And the play I'm in is on in less than two weeks. And I'm meant to be organising some kind of birthday thing at some point, and working out what I want for my birthday. There's just too much happening. *sigh* Hopefully I can manage not to get any new blisters at work this weekend.

On a more DA-related theme, it's `Beccalicious's Scriptwriting Month! Go check her journal for more details. She's managed to get me interested in something I really didn't think I'd want to have a go at, and I'm considering developing that monologue I posted into something bigger, so it's clearly exciting stuff! And while you're at it, congratulate her on her Deviousness Award!

This is Grenadine Hatsprocket, reporting for Little Fopplingdib FM, home of the Name That Beet competition. More news in half an hour, until then have a listen to the smooooth new sound of Albert and the Homonyms with My Heart Is Like An Unhappy Quail.

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FEATURETTE

~CWnerd12 has a way of writing about characters that makes you feel that she really knows them. She lets you in on how their minds work, and can make you empathise with people you ought to hate. I think having a good knowledge of world war II would enhance the reading of her poetry, but I enjoy her work for the depth and emotion she gives her characters.

Little Man's Granddaughter
"You didn’t die in the explosion,
but The Bomb killed you:
ten years later, you lie in your hospital bed,
weakened feeble hands folding, folding, folding…"

The Haunting of Reinhard Heydrich
"Did a ghost ever come to breathe on your neck
And whisper... You can stop this.
No— you don’t believe in ghosts.
You hang up the phone, lean back in your chair."

Lina
"You want to put your arms around his narrow shoulders,
cock your hips like a gun..."

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ARTISTIC PLUGS

~damnedlostsoul aka Rob has gallantly arranged to do a collaboration per week or so with various different themes - see [link] . Last week's theme was Summer. By the way - feel free to join in with it, the more the merrier! (Except in all modes of public transport.)

I've joined this club: *Adopt-A-Writer! It looks really good, I'm both adopting a poet and being adopted as a prose-writing-person (author, maybe, but that might refer to any kind of writing...). I'm looking forward to learning, making some new friends and sharing some of my "expertise". It's currently run by ^LadyLincoln, go have a look!

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Good gracious, it's been over two weeks since I last journalated! I'm amazed I've managed to keep quiet that long. Anywho, I'm back now, you can all stop fretting yourselves. Just to warn you, this is going to be a looong journal, even by my cruelly lengthy standards. If you intend to read it all the way through, I would recommend getting some oxygen canisters, a yak and a decent sherpa, trying to reach the third paragraph and then setting up base camp.

Yet more apologies about the lack of commenting. I'm never going to catch up with all those deviations, so I'm just going to have to not comment a lot of them, sorry about that. I’m so behind with everything, grarr.

I've had my FP2 and FP4 exams now. They went better than I expected, but they were still very hard, particularly FP2. I managed to answer every question, though, even if I didn't do so in the appropriate fashion... After a week of holiday, I've got a very dense period of exams, so that will be fun. Hurray.

And I finished the mysterious item involving wallpaper paste for my friend’s birthday – it was an octopus piñata filled with assorted silly things, and I believe she rather liked it.

Friday was my last day of school. I got a bit tearful at points; I'm going to miss my teachers and my friends a lot. And it still hasn't quite sunk in that I'm never going to school again... I guess because I'll still be going in for exams and a bit of paperwork.

I also had a job interview on Friday, at Peacocks (it's a clothes shop). I didn’t think it had gone all that fantastically, but today they called me and offered me the job! The pay is shockingly bad until I turn 18, but that’s only a month away, so it’s not too bad. And the important thing is, I actually have a job! A job that pays!

My family and I went to see the Dalai Lama on Saturday! It was really interesting and gave me a lot to think about. He's certainly a wonderful man, and I love his practical views on religion. He completely lost me when he was talking about the Buddhist ideas on the brain and the mind (he had to get a lot of help from his interpreter for this bit, and it felt like things were getting lost in translation), but it still made me think about it. Some monks were making a sand mandala at the event, which was hypnotising to watch. And before anyone asks, I'm not a Buddhist, I just find Buddhism interesting and agree with a lot of the Buddhist ideals.

Then when we got home we watched the Eurovision Song Contest!!! There were some splendid entries this year, and we also discovered that you could have subtitles in English, which added to the magnificence of the evening. My favourite was Bosnia & Herzegovina - just look at the enthusiasm! It's better when you can understand the lyrics, though. Also of note were Croatia's entry (who wouldn't want an old rapping gent claiming that he was "the first internet in the world"? I’m afraid I can’t find a translated version for you ), Finland's entry (purely for the lyric "Where the men ride forth/ and the sheep will not graze!" plus the drummer's wacky outfit), and France’s entry (for so many reasons… women in beards, a golf cart, and the fact that it enraged most of the French because it’s in English. Does anyone know what the heck the word ‘Chivers’ means, though? ). It was Azerbaijan’s first time on Eurovision, and I think they’re showing promise with the seemingly castrated angel chap. The most terrifying was probably Spain’s entry… I just can’t find words for it. And poor Ireland didn’t even make it to the final, despite the rapping turkey. What a mockery of justice.

Alas, Russia won thanks to the exceedingly political voting. And the UK came last, partly due to that badly planned war with Iraq but also because our song was so shockingly awful that it brought shame upon our already shoddy nation. The worst thing about Eurovision is that Terry Wogan, who presents the program in the UK, had earlier been told off by the creator of Eurovision for not taking it seriously enough, so he didn’t make fun of the entries properly. And he’s considering not doing it at all anymore, so then we’ll end up with some unfunny pillock like Ricky Gervais. Or Russell Brand!!!

Then I made a card for my sister’s birthday at 2:00 in the morning… it was looking quite good, but then I was tired and decided to destroy it by drawing loads of stupid doodles inside. So I thought I’d try and make up for it by drawing a nice heart on the front, but then I thought, “That heart would look much better if it was wearing a top hat.” And then it really needed a monocle to go with the hat. And of course it then had to have an umbrella and a pipe. (Yes, that’s how my mind works at that time of day.) Luckily, my sister likes my special brand of insanity, so huzzahs!

For her birthday we just ate cake and played a board game and had Family Fun. But I think she enjoyed it. We also secretly made her a Discworld birthday cake and a Great A’tuin piñata, which we gave to her today when some friends came over. I believe she rather liked them, I think it was a good family effort. When said friends came over, we played video games and helped my sibling put her new tent up in the garden, which was most entertaining.

I went to a party on Monday which I was slightly dreading (it was a big meal out thing), but it went remarkably well! I had a bit of a panic attack, but it wasn’t bad at all, and I found a nice compromise between fitting in and feeling like myself. And I got to see some of the friends that I’d said goodbye to on the last day, so it wasn’t a final goodbye really, I’ll still see them around lots.

I haven’t revised much at all, but I must get on with it, so I’m going to be round here even less than I have been lately. Ah well. I shan’t bother with a to-do list because it’s just going to be too depressingly long.

I’ve still got writer’s block, and I’ve got lots of ideas, so it’s really irritating me now. I’ve decided to put my mind-scratchings up here and see if your input is able to get me going with things, although I doubt I’ll feel properly inspired until after exams.
That part of me is laughing, darling
that dead part of me that skulks under my soul
a plastic shell rattling
in the wind that carries you and your hairless dreams
I suck in the night, tease it in,
hold it in my lungs like it was you
Christmas comes in dribs and drabs
Names hang like greasy summer air,
banners from bygone birthdays
draped with cobwebs and confetti
Sometimes life is supermarket lingerie,
laceless but supportive
We’re knocking round in old jeans
with translucent knees
and pockets for snail shells and foreign coins and keys
and all the little things that people don’t realise are important,
at least not at the time.
And that’s us, paper grin
full of hope and dry sin,
Kinder Egg dreams and Cedric the Seagull
[hanging from my door now,
and we won’t fly no more]
Any thoughts on those would be appreciated.

That’s all for now, folks, I hope you’re all full of merriment and frolics.

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TAG-ITUDE

I know I really shouldn’t, but I fancy rambling a bit more. Sorry, my good chums.

DO YOU HAVE ANY EMBARRASSING HABITS? The worst one is probably the lip-picking, I always go into scary exams with bleeding lips.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU GOT FROM THE LIBARY? I haven’t actually been to the library for ages… I think it was actually a textbook on statistics. Or it might have been a psychology-related book.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVE DRINK? I’m rather partial to grape juice at the moment.

HAVE YOU HAD ANY NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES? Not that I recall.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING STUPID UNINTENTIONALLY? Who on earth hasn’t???

ANY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES? Yes. My earliest was of a hedgehog in our backgarden.

WHAT'S THE FUNNIEST BOOK YOU'VE READ? Oooh… The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy probably just about gets that title, but several Discworld books are very close.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I got pretty close to it when I was having another argument with our evil recycling receptacle. It doesn’t like me!!!

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD DO? Paint things from my mind without having to use loads of references… or take over the world.

WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM JOB BE? Supervillain. Or an artist or poet, but I’m not sure I’d like having pressure put on me to write/draw something. If I could just write when I felt like it and make money from that somehow, I’d be a poet.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU GOT IN THE POST? A large cheque for driving lessons.

WHAT COLOUR BEST DESCRIBES YOUR PERSONALITY? I don’t really know… Blue’s my favourite colour, but I’m not really blue. Orange, maybe?

FAVOURITE ANIMAL? Great anteater. That’s one marvellous mammal.

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? An author and illustrator, then the first woman on Jupiter, then a geography teacher. I don’t know what I was thinking with the latter.

WHAT PISSES YOU OFF? You name it. It would be much quicker to list the few things that don’t annoy me.

WHAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT DAY? Sunny but breezy day, stupid ball games with friends, poor quality reality TV with my family, minimal arguments, and chocolate cheesecake.

PASTIMES? Writing, art, rock-collecting, TV, internet faffing, board games, occasionally badminton.

IF YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF THE WORLD FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Get an army together so that I could be in charge of it for a lot longer!

WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHSTONE? Pearl or ruby, I believe.

IF YOU COULD DO MAGIC WHAT WOULD BE UR BEST SPELL? Erm… it may well involve cake… or turning people into ferrets.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC ELEMENT? Water, for I am a cancer on society. </bad pun>

WHOSE ARSE DESERVES A KICKING? Russell Brand, without a doubt.

WOSRT FILM YOU'VE EVER SEEN? The Core. It was quite stunningly appalling. But there are plenty of romantic comedies that seem desperate to win that prize. And American Pie was pretty dreadful, too.

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FEATURETTE

I'm not featuring writers that do a lot in the community for a bit now, the next few features will be fairly new writers that I think deserve a bit of exposure.

I've really enjoyed reading ~Ocean-Flute's work, it's stuffed full of intense, breath-taking imagery. I find her poetry simply stunning. I don't always feel that I understand it fully, but I don't need to understand it to feel the emotion in it, and for me that's a sign of spectacular poetry.

PMS
"You start to sympathise with street lamps. You wish to write letters to places you will visit:
mountains denying embraces, or
just the longest, straightest roads in existence, leading into heated gasoline mist
and Nowhere."

Flux
"Our mirrors aren't mirrors anymore. We look in and see four dimensions -
Concrete dust in the distance, smog dragons sharpening teeth on jagged buildings
Rivers of feet rushing over rubble, rubber shoes slapping ceramic..."

Mr. Brendan's Dogs
"A little old woman once told us,
You are all devils - you are all going to hell!
She spoke with such fierce conviction; caps-locked HELL! now
Dangle from our earlobes, strung
By the protruding veins of all the bald supervisors we ever had."

Previous feature-ees:


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ARTY MALARKEY

~damnedlostsoul aka Rob has gallantly arranged to do a collaboration per week or so with various different themes - see [link] . Last week's theme was Summer. By the way - feel free to join in with it, the more the merrier! (Except in all modes of public transport.)

I've joined this club: *Adopt-A-Writer! It looks really good, I'm both adopting a poet and being adopted as a prose-writing-person (author, maybe, but that might refer to any kind of writing...). I'm looking forward to learning, making some new friends and sharing some of my "expertise". It's currently run by ^LadyLincoln, go have a look!

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Life has been pretty hectic lately, and I am taking forever to comment on all the deviations I've got piled up. But rather than get a few more commented on, I thought I'd write a journal instead. Because my priorities are warped like that.

So then, I'm not feeling so wobbly about dresses any more, and I'm generally feeling a bit more comfortable with myself, which is always good news. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it helped a lot.

The murder mystery party was marvellous, I had a wonderful time without a single panic attack! There were slight issues at first... my family was out test-driving cars (I stayed at home to do some work or something) because my mum's car keeps breaking down. But guess what. My mum's car broke down. So they were stuck in an industrial estate for 3 hours, and the AA sent a man out but apparently, because Mum had the same problem last week, the man had no choice but to leave them there and drive off. So we're switching insurance, remarkably enough. But my godfather rescued them eventually, and I did, at last, make it to the ball! I enjoyed being angry and Spanish at everyone (I couldn't do the accent so I made up for it by being extra angry ) and we found the murderers eventually. In fact, none of us identified the murderers, but the tape that came along with it gave us a helping hand...

My driving lesson went reasonably well, I tried to turn left when she wanted me to turn right and I under-steered quite spectacularly on my first roundabout, but other than that I wasn't that useless. And I went into fourth gear for the first time!

I managed to get sunburnt after about two days of nice weather, but it's not so bad now and I have learnt my lesson. Sitting for three hours with the same arm facing the sun without any sunscreen is not wise.

I've had various mocks which generally haven't gone that badly, and if they have then they've shown me what I need to revise. And I have my first real exam on Thursday - FP2 - which will be horrifying, but at least it'll get it over and done with. And I don't actually need to pass FP2 for my university offer, so it doesn't really matter anyway, although I'd like not to fail ideally.

On Saturday my dad attempted to saw his arm off. He was cutting some branches off various overgrown plants and accidentally ended up with a saw in his arm, but he was fine after a brief trip to hospital. In fact, he seems to think it's hilarious. And today he managed to singe his foot whilst burning some wood. There's no hope for some people.

Also on Saturday, we went to my sister's singing recital thingy. She wasn't actually singing much, but there were a lot of remarkable young people there. For instance, one girl was able to hit all the right notes yet still made you feel that you were being beaten slowly to death with a strange bagpipe-pneumatic-drill hybrid. Then there was a poor boy whose voice was breaking, he was very brave to keep trying, and various people that forgot half their words, couldn't sing high/low notes or were entirely inaudible (not necessarily a bad thing). This may sound cruel, but you didn't have to endure two and a half hours of it. And at the end they did an encore. I thought the torture was over but they just... kept... going... *curls up into foetus position, rocking gently* There were a few good performances mixed in with it, though; the highlight being a very amusing version of 'Les Poissons' (I hadn't heard of it before, either), in which the singer managed to break a spoon while savaging a plastic fish.

My friend's 18th birthday is coming up and I am in the process of carrying out my ingenious plan for her present. Just in case she happens to read this, I will not let you in on its magnificence. But let's just say that there is wallpaper paste involved. *conspiratorial wink*

Let's see now, the to do list...
[x] Revise FP2
[x] Revise FP4
[x] Complete ingenious plan
[ ] Obtain presents for various other people
[ ] Comment on as many incoming deviations as I can bear without biting someone (currently under 50 deviations)
[ ] Look through my Spring Haikuthon favourites now that they're finished
[ ] Buy a ticket for the Summer Ball

In terms of poetry and art, I'm feeling pretty drained at the moment... I've had a few ideas, but nothing's becoming of them. I'm just going to wait till it flows again, because forcing it out never does any good. And matters aren't helped by the fact that my sketchbook has mysteriously vanished...

Oh yes, and *orphicfiddler got a Daily Deviation on Contemplations! I would recommend it, it's got me in the mood to write some rhyming poetry as soon as my brain cooperates.

Anywho, have a wonderful week and good luck with any exams you have, or anything else which you fancy having some of my luck for!

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FEATURETTE

`Beccalicious ran the Clean Up Your Lit project this spring, and reported the most miscats by far. She runs contests (as well as writing a tutorial on how to run your own contest - see [link] ), submits news, publicises events and features fellow deviants. And make sure you take a look at her scriptwriting month this June! Although I'm very new to her work, from what I've read, her writing is full of insightful observations and unusual imagery.

Cup of Tea Promise
"It all starts
with cup of tea promises,
watered down lies,
and coffee depression."

Car Park Politics
"IVAN: Yeah I know your likes. Pretend to be honest businessmen, running your shops and taking our money, and all you give us in return is mass killing. I’m not taking it. You should go back to where you came from.

TONY: I’m from Hull."

Downside Up
"Yesterday was one of those days where all I felt like doing was staring through the glass. Occasionally I would notice a larger pair of eyes staring back at me, wide with curiosity. I’m not always fond of those eyes, especially the young ones who sometimes tap the glass so hard I worry the glass may shatter and my entire life will splash away."

Previous feature-ees:


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ARTY MALARKEY

~damnedlostsoul aka Rob has gallantly arranged to do a collaboration per week or so with various different themes - see [link] . Last week's theme was Summer. By the way - feel free to join in with it, the more the merrier! (Except in all modes of public transport.)

I've joined this club: *Adopt-A-Writer! It looks really good, I'm both adopting a poet and being adopted as a prose-writing-person (author, maybe, but that might refer to any kind of writing...). I'm looking forward to learning, making some new friends and sharing some of my "expertise". It's currently run by ^LadyLincoln, go have a look!

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Well then, it's May all of a sudden. It bumped April off sooner than expected, but April wasn't really trying towards the end anyway. And my first exam is in less than two weeks, I don't quite know how that happened.

Not an awful lot's been going on, really... I didn't totally fail my FP2 and FP4 mocks! I didn't do very well, I admit, but I didn't fail. I got more than 50%, which was what I was hoping to achieve. Next week I've got a mechanics mock, a chemistry mock and a biology test. And I still haven't started revising. But tomorrow, revision season will officially begin! I'm going to revise for at least 3 hours if it kills me! (I know that's not a spectacular amount of revision, but I need to ease myself into these things...)

I had another driving lesson yesterday and it went much better. I didn't do anything incredibly stupid, and my instructor wants me to work out when to change gears now on my own. I've figured out my issues with the brake pedal, and next week we're going to try roundabouts...

Then yesterday evening I went to a party/meal out. I had a fairly significant panic attack, so I didn't actually eat anything (don't worry, I had something before I went out), but I danced a bit and talked to people. But it would have been better if my stomach didn't feel like it was trying to Irish jig and my brain would stop thumping against my skull. But my organs just don't care about my wellbeing.

It didn't help that I was wearing a dress for the first time in two years... I'm not a particularly feminine person (you might have noticed, I don't know), and I don't wear make-up or jewellery or any of that sort of thing most of the time... But I saw some really nice dresses when I went shopping with my mum (officially for pots and pans for university, but we basically ransacked the whole town in a rare frenzy of shopping. Or, to put it a little more realistically, we also did a bit of clothes shopping), and when I was showing them to my family at home they were giving me lots of exceedingly subtle hints about how lovely I look in a dress and how much more feminine etc I look. I really don't like the way that everything is based so much on appearance, but sometimes I get so sick of not fitting in the hole that society has very thoughtfully created for me. And I'm the only person I'm aware of that is so against women having to look nice all the time... All the TV programs and magazines go on about feeling ok with yourself and liking people for who they are, but the next page/show they'll be telling you how to look pretty, how to be the right shape, how to ensnare the Mr Right you're after. And my mum's all for women's rights, but she keeps trying to convince me to wear a bit of make-up and look a bit more girly. And a part of me would like to just be pretty. But the rest of me wants to try and change the world, if only in a little way, and say that I'm not going to fit in that hole. The world is the wrong shape, not me. But then if everyone disagrees with me, I'm probably wrong.

Anyway, at this party with the dress, I got a couple of looks from chaps that I don't normally get, and lots of people told me I looked nice. But when I was thinking about it (mid-panic attack) if any of the guys that I liked came up to me that night and, after having already seen what I'm like at college for ages, only decided they were interested when I was wearing a dress, I'd have told them to sod off, because they clearly don't like me for the right reasons. I like me as I am, and if nobody else does then that's their loss. I'd rather wait forever for the person that's right for me than end up with someone only because I've given up the things I believe in.

Sorry about all that angsty muttering, I just needed to get it out of my head. Anyway, there's another party tomorrow night. It's a murder mystery party, which should be fun! None of us have been to one before, so it's undoubtedly going to be very silly. Particularly as my maddest friend (many people deem her to be madder than me) is going to be a member of the Gestapo for it. I'm a grieving Spanish cabaret singer, which should be fine as long as they don't want me to sing.

Speaking of cabaret, the play I'm in is coming along fairly nicely. I now have to speak in a high-pitched warble throughout the play (along the lines of "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"), as well as pretending to be drunk and from East London. I provide the comedic relief. *inane double-handed thumbs-up*

Right then, the to-do list:
[x] Revise the sensory system
[x] Revise mechanics
[x] Revise Trends and Patterns
[ ] Get assorted birthday presents ready
[ ] Comment on as many incoming deviations as I can bear without biting someone (whoops, now over 50 deviations)
[ ] Look through my Spring Haikuthon favourites now that they're finished
[ ] Revise FP2

I hope you're all very well and have survived this journal despite my best efforts.

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FEATURETTE

`Beccalicious ran the Clean Up Your Lit project this spring, and reported the most miscats by far. She runs contests (as well as writing a tutorial on how to run your own contest - see [link] ), submits news, publicises events and features fellow deviants. I'm very new to her work, but, from what I've read, her writing is full of insightful observations and unusual imagery.

Cup of Tea Promise[link]
"It all starts
with cup of tea promises,
watered down lies,
and coffee depression. "
[I will finish this later, I am not sufficiently awake to do it now... ]

Previous feature-ees:


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ARTY MALARKEY

Take a look at =emeraldsugar's news article featuring artists - [link] - I've really enjoyed the selections, although I have now added to my already oversized watchlist...

~damnedlostsoul aka Rob has gallantly arranged to do a collaboration per week or so with various different themes - see [link] . Last week's theme was Summer. By the way - feel free to join in with it, the more the merrier! (Except in all modes of public transport.)

I've joined this club: *Adopt-A-Writer! It looks really good, I'm both adopting a poet and being adopted as a prose-writing-person (author, maybe, but that might refer to any kind of writing...). I'm looking forward to learning, making some new friends and sharing some of my "expertise". It's currently run by ^LadyLincoln, go have a look!