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The barren colours of synthetic paints
Clash exotically with yielding greens
Dead weeds mimicking the warm copper of rusted rails
And complementing the soft blue
Of breezy skies specked with thoughtful clouds,
The image framed by wires above and the platform edge.

Each second new characters are introduced,
Their unique stories telling themselves to any inquiring mind
A huge balding man dressed in mint
By a short pink woman, impatiently glancing at the time
The comical pair wanders away after nasal messages;
Public school kids, their individuality
Shining through their purple uniforms;
A man whose fluorescent expression gives away his thoughts
As he strides down the platform and glares at the concrete.
Trains like friendly caterpillars trundle in,
Buzzing and hissing like angry wasps.

The contrast and juxtaposition of the train station
Forcing all elements of the city together
Create this living piece of art,
Shocking and wondrous, despite superficial urban banality,
And I know I will see a hundred other masterpieces,
Framed by the train window, as I make my journey home.
©2007-2009 *chugglepuff
:iconchugglepuff:

Author's Comments

Or 'Urban Masterpiece'. This was actually written at platform 6. I already have a poem called Platform 6 which is very negative, so I decided to try and tackle a cheerful version. Seeing as 7 is lucky and 6 associated with the devil, it kind of fits. This is vaguely written almost as a critique of the art... ish.

Comments


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:icongroovydelirious:
This is great! It really captures the romanticism of a train station (even though they're really dirty in real life!) It makes me miss England! We've got no trains at all where I'm from! :( I also like the "new characters are introduced..." it really gives the location a real sense of importance.

Some of your comparisons are a little hard to penetrate;
"A man whose fluorescent expression gives away his thoughts
As he strides down the platform and glares at the concrete."

At first I thought he was really happy, fluorescent just makes me think of cheerfulness I guess. But the fact he's glaring throws me a little. Apart from that, however I really like this!

--
To relax I get empty smarties tubes and put them on cat's legs so they walk like a robot.
:iconchugglepuff:
Thanks so much! I like the griminess of the train station, it's part of their charm for me (I'm a bit on the crazy side...). No trains? What??? How do you get to where you want to go an hour late because a swan was sitting on the rails???

I know what you mean... For that bit I was describing his outfit but using the word for his expression (I think there's a special word for it, but I may have just made it up as I went along...). But I also meant that his expression was obvious and caught your attention. It was a bit weird, though. I should try to control my madness...

And thank you for the favourite! :hug:

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
:icongroovydelirious:
No probs, it's a great piece. :)

I live on an island, so everythings within a 20 minute drive away! Although the sound of a swan on the rails does sound funny! XD

--
To relax I get empty smarties tubes and put them on cat's legs so they walk like a robot.
:iconchugglepuff:
It was funny afterwards. At the time I was most displeased. I ranted for quite some time about the queen and how I don't see why I don't get to eat a swan. And then I went on about the queen having to own all the pigeons as well, because they need protecting too, grr, stupid queen, corgis, grr... You should pity my friends. Sorry, I'm babbling again.

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
:icongroovydelirious:
Hahaha!

Don't worry, I think it's funny! :)

--
To relax I get empty smarties tubes and put them on cat's legs so they walk like a robot.
:iconzippedspark:
Very cool, very descriptive, very good vocabulary =D

"Public school kids, their individuality
Shining through their purple uniforms" My favorite part

Very imaginative view of a train station, I almost never think like that.

Very cool, I really like this one :#1:

--
"I'm only paranoid because everyone is against me." - Gandpa Simpson
"That's what Jesus said, and look what happend to him" - Me
:icongatogirl12345:
"Forcing all elements of the city together
Create this living piece of art,"


I really like these lines where you finally really tie the knot between the city in itself and how it is an art piece.

The imagery is wonderful. It's really vivid in my mind.


6, which is used to create triple 6, or 7, which is really lucky. 6 or 7...hmmmm...

7 it is!!!!!

--
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:iconchugglepuff:
Thanks ever so much! :D

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
:iconchugglepuff:
Thank you so much! :D

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.

Details

June 20, 2007
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