Your writing inspires me. It's great, because I had a lack of ideas. Wonderful piece, and thank you.

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"A supernova is about a billion suns.
A sun is about a billion Earth's.
And Earth is about six billion people.
...
No matter how small you think you are, you're not thinking small enough." - Max

I like it too, and I've felt at least a little like that. I particularly like the first two lines, and 'I could totter to the edge, all haughty', and the final stanza. It's a very good idea for a poem, and I'm not aware that it's cliche at all, to write about jumping off a building for reasons other than ending one's miserable life.

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"The only difference between myself and a madman is I am not mad." - Salvador Dali

I like this! The jump could also symbolize any risk physical, emotional or intellectual... or spiritual. There's a little more here than just cliche.

One small thing: second used twice is fine, but why not 'an instant' for variety?

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Stop popping that bubble wrap and check out *ThePurpleNurple
“Make [your] characters want something right away—even if it’s only a glass of water."-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I actually think this is rather beautiful.

And I quite like the repetition of "second", personally

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My gallery:
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Comments are welcomed, and will be returned

~Literature critiquer for *devCRIT~

...If there were no birds, would we still dream of flying?...

Zo, dis desire to fall mit out hitting der pavement is clearly rooted in your childhood, ja? Your mutter vas alvays sayink "I vill never let you fall" so you are viewing this as being deprived of an enjoyable experience vich manifests itself in dis poem!

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Always assume the worst: if it happens you'll be prepared and if it doesn't the surprise will be pleasant.

Oh, thank you ever so much, it's such a compliment to be told you're inspiring... And there's certainly no need to thank me! Thanks for the fav, as well!

I know this is terribly late, but thank you very much for the watch! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, I've been awfully rude not to reply for so long. Your support does mean a lot to me!

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A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.

Anytime! I love reading your stuff, I almost wish you'd update more. Your writing is beautiful and imaginative, it makes me feel so... amateur.

Anyway... just keep writing.

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"A supernova is about a billion suns.
A sun is about a billion Earth's.
And Earth is about six billion people.
...
No matter how small you think you are, you're not thinking small enough." - Max

I like the way you set this out. It is very elegant.

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THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)

although your comment made me chuckle, you do not give yourself justice, as here you have written a wonderful poem with a flowing form and structure, complimented by interesting, imagery.
The poem may have its angst, but it is not an embarrassment, nor is it cliche - trust me, DA has a LOT of cliche stuff written by kids, kept from the eyes of their worried parents, having little more substance than that of the stereotypical 'emo' suicide note.
Yet your work here is the product of an experienced writer, if you mind me naming you as such, and appears as a conscious effort to convey a situation of thought in the mind of the poem's voice, and you've done a very good job


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a voice inside my head breaks the analogue.

~Judas130

Your poems always make me feel nostalgic... you capture human emotions quite well. : )

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If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.</sup>