Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:date:
 

Forsythia by *chugglepuff:iconchugglepuff:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Open


No, you never did bother to learn my name—
me with the ugly yellow of cicada wings bursting
from the spurs of branches in spring, the menorah
of my limbs cross-hatching the sky.

And so I was the butter-moth tree,
and you would take those bulging flowers as ammo and confetti,
running your fingers along each budding spike
for something to put in your potions and pies.
You knew the way to harvest twigs, then:
you knew to snap, then twist the living green
until it came off, light as a bird’s femur.
I could hear the able-fingered unfurling as the
moss-brown bark was stripped from that severed limb,
the swipe of it cutting the grass and the buddleia.

I harvested long-tailed tits,
nestled in the cobweb of my branches
like pink-tinged clouds at sunset,
and you took the time to notice them one day,
to notice the flitting of finches and robins.
You began to notice the comfort of shaded grass and wind chimes
when your potions would no longer do,
when you chose silence over shrieking.

You were not there when I was bagged up,
black plastic stretching over my skeleton—
but the birds fluttered to the silver birch,
and I left my roots behind.
©2009 *chugglepuff
:iconchugglepuff:

Author's Comments

This was written in a poetry workshop, focusing on gardens. We were asked to write in first person from the point of view of an object in a garden we knew well, and this tree (or possibly bush) is pretty heavy in my memory. I'd intended to write this to the tree, so it was interesting doing it a different way round... I'm not generally a fan of speaking from the perspective of an inanimate object--it always feels like the kind of thing they wanted you to write in primary school--but actually I'm quite pleased with bits of this, and I really need to get over my constant second-person writing and try to write from other people's perspectives more anyway.

---

The poet running the workshop, Lesley Saunders, is currently writing a book, and wanted to include the poems written in the workshop, so it would be nice to get this pretty polished. Any suggestions are always welcome! :)

And on the title: I don't know whether I prefer 'Forsythia' or 'Forsythia Europaea' or 'Forsythia Europeae (The Butter-Moth Tree)' or 'The Butter-Moth Tree (Forsythia Europaea)', or if you can think of something much more interesting than any of that. I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter!

Critiques


Thank you for your Critique

You are not logged in.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconkaleidopsyche:
~Kaleidopsyche Jun 12, 2009, 11:58:50 AM
The title should be: "Definitely Not A Lobster."

--
Always assume the worst: if it happens you'll be prepared and if it doesn't the surprise will be pleasant.
:iconpardonm3:
~pardonM3 Jun 12, 2009, 5:28:54 PM
No, you never did bother to learn my name—
me with the ugly yellow of cicada wings bursting
from the spurs of branches in spring, the menorah
of my limbs cross-hatching the sky.

Way to open!
:clap:
:iconchugglepuff:
*chugglepuff Jun 13, 2009, 12:20:19 AM
Thank you very much! :D

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
:iconchugglepuff:
*chugglepuff Jun 13, 2009, 12:34:05 AM
Fun fact: the lobster is actually forsythia's closest living relative. They have diverged significantly since they last shared a common ancestor some 54 million years ago, with forsythia's obvious loss of pincers, gills and legs, and the lobster's sudden inability to photosythesise, but they still have a few conserved similarities. The main one being that neither of them survive being put in boiling water especially well.
:nod:

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
:iconmoondrunk:
~moondrunk Jun 13, 2009, 6:59:22 PM
good job chuggles

--
"My little old man and I fell out;
I'll tell you what 'twas all about,--
I had money and he had none,
And that's the way the noise begun."
:iconkaleidopsyche:
~Kaleidopsyche Jun 14, 2009, 7:27:10 AM
You may have discovered the one common gene among all life forms.

--
Always assume the worst: if it happens you'll be prepared and if it doesn't the surprise will be pleasant.
:iconalois-noette:
~Alois-Noette Jun 14, 2009, 9:34:10 AM
I especially liked "the menorah of my limbs" and

"You knew the way to harvest twigs, then;
you knew to snap, then twist the living green
until it came off, light as a bird’s femur."

:clap:

--
"The most worthye she is in towne
He that seith other do amiss
And worthy to ber the crowne
Veni, coronaberis"

—Mediaeval Baebes, "Veni Coronaberis" :music:

:sun:
:iconhotpotatoes1:
~hotpotatoes1 Jun 14, 2009, 2:10:51 PM
This made me cry. Thanks, it is truly beautiful, and it brings back a load of memories, like an Argos truck full of thoughts breaking down outside our house and me popping out to see if everything is ok, and suddenly all the thoughts are jumping back in my head. Sort of. As soon as I read "butter-moth" I welled up. I miss you, Beebs. Love, x

--
Je suis un potato...
C'est la vie :p
"That must mean they've
found the biscuit supplies!" :noes:
RIP Liam, forever in my heart.
:iconbogbrush:
*Bogbrush Jun 15, 2009, 12:56:31 PM
Now I'm going to feel guilty pruning the two I have in my garden :)

--
Ethics? That's the place north of London init?
Previous Page1234Next Page

Details

June 12
1.4 KB

Statistics

31
5 [who?]
160 (0 today)
3 (0 today)

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy