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-1-
flakes
flitting in the wind—
the swallows are far from home

-1.5-
clothes fly by the dryer window,
backgrounds in a Roadrunner cartoon

-2-
trees paint their nails;
everyone else
wears gloves

-3-
frozen pavements,
streets wrapped
in cling film

-4-
crumpled tissues—
the remains
of a snowman

-5-
virgin snow
trampled
by a girl in hot pants

-6-
cryptic crosswords
and newsprint;
not everything is black and white

-7-
buying frozen mince
in a knitted red jumper

-8-
personal ads
stacked—
windows in a block of flats

-9-
snow wilts into the mud;
umbrellas continue
to bloom

-10-
gingerbread sky,
midnight hums
with sirens

-11-
bloated river
squeezing under bridges;
roads fat with traffic

-12-
snowflakes on lashes—
plastic bags
in the branches of trees

-13-
blackout;
streetlamps die—
bent old men lost in the dark

-14-
pigeons scatter
in front of a cyclist;
diners fling crumbs

-15-
unsteady rhythm on the roof;
rain invisible
against the sky
It's the winter Haikuwrimo hosted by `MSJames! The idea is to write a haiku a day for the whole of February.

I'm aiming to focus on simplicity (in terms of the words I use) and neutrality this time round, we'll see how long I can hold out on being violently opinionated...

Something ~SOLARTS said to me during the last 'wrimo was that one property of haiku is incompleteness, so I'm also doing my best to tackle that, which is a tricky one for me, being a big fan of sentence structure and capitals and all that. But I will try to get over it!

I'm afraid I don't have huge amounts of time, so I doubt I'll be able to comment back much, I'm sorry about that. Hopefully I'll get a chance to read a fair amount of other people's work, even if I don't say much about it. Good luck to all the other 'wrimo-ees! :)

A few explanatory notes where relevant:
3 - according to wikipedia, cling film is called plastic wrap in the US and cling wrap in Australia. Oh, and I suppose pavements are probably sidewalks?
8 - I don't know if you have flats in places that aren't here, perhaps you call them apartments. :shrug:
Also, thank you so much to everyone for the kind feedback you've been giving; as soon as I've got my essays and maths done, I will try really hard to reply and comment and generally not be so rude.
9 - also, "tea swallows milk," but that's a terribly dull thing to say.
10 - here's an irrelevant thing for you: I was doing emergency late night essay writing and came across an amazing quote that goes thusly...
The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
Is that not astoundingly excellent? Archilochus said it. Or wrote it. Or some such thing. :nod:
11 - yes, I wrote this a day late. It was Essay Crisis Time, you see. But I think this is the least behind I've probably ever been in a 'wrimo, so yay.
12 - thanks for the help, Ms `jade-pandora!
13 - Another slightly late one, but there was a power cut, so I think it's acceptable.

:( I wasn't able to finish, how disappointing. 'Twas fun while it lasted, though! :)

Belated violent thank you for the DD! In particular, a big bucket of "thank you"s to ^SparrowSong and all the kind folk who came by and commented and faved! :)
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-05-01
You can never have too many haiku. Luckily, February Haiku by ~chugglepuff contains fifteen, all image-rich and unique. ( Featured by SparrowSong )
:iconejeans7:
ejeans7 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015   Writer
Each of these is beautiful, but I think -2- is my favorite.  I love them as a collection, though. :heart:
Reply
:iconscfleischmann:
SCFleischmann Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
I love how it just flows down my tongue when i read it. 
Reply
:iconfishxlantern:
fishxlantern Featured By Owner May 16, 2010
Hey, just wanted to let you know that your writing was featured here: [link]

Thanks for writing :D. Also, if you'd like your work removed from the article, feel free to note me and I'll take it out of the feature.
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 16, 2010
Oh, thank you very much! That's very generous of you! :) Good luck with running the group - I hope all goes well!
Reply
:iconfishxlantern:
fishxlantern Featured By Owner May 16, 2010
Thank you, I hope so too. And you're welcome =D.
Reply
:iconegglorru:
egglorru Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
Beautiful imagery, especially 2 and 3.

The hilarious part is that it's about 70-80 degrees in February in Texas, so it's completely incongruous to me xD
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
Thank you very much! :hug:

:lol: So that's where all the warm weather ran off to, eh? :shakefist:
Reply
:iconegglorru:
egglorru Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
Yes, I stole it. Bwahaha. Come and take it if you can.
Reply
:iconmsklystron:
msklystron Featured By Owner May 1, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Yays!!! You write the most delicious haikus.:) Congratulations! It's impossible to choose favourites, but 9, 12 and 15 really said something to me.:)
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
:hug: Thank you!!! :D And thanks for the fav, too! :)
Reply
:iconmsklystron:
msklystron Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Oh, my pleasure!
:glomp:
Reply
:iconsmurf4422:
smurf4422 Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
#15. Love it.

Just visualizing...im beeing haunted by nostalgic feelings. :+favlove:
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
Aw, thank you very much indeed! :heart: And thanks for the fav as well! :)
Reply
:iconkallia-goldenwings:
kallia-goldenwings Featured By Owner May 1, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
giggles
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
*grin* Thanks for reading, and for the fav! :)
Reply
:iconkallia-goldenwings:
kallia-goldenwings Featured By Owner May 4, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
your welcome
Reply
:icontroubledrabbit:
TroubledRabbit Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
these are just too lovely :) such gorgeous imagery, such lovely simplicity :) i think i might take this up as a daily practice
Reply
:iconsmallcraig1606:
smallcraig1606 Featured By Owner May 1, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey! A DD! great work!!! When I saw it on the DD channel, I thought, this looks familiar, then as I scrolled a little, I thought "Chug's got a DD!" (I kid you not, that's how the thought same out!)

Good job! You deserve this! I'll read them all again now! I'mm so happy for you!
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
:laughing: I am most pleased by your thought process! =P

Thank you so much, Craig! :hug:
Reply
:iconsmallcraig1606:
smallcraig1606 Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I wasn't sure if you might be offended by my abbreviation of your dA name! :blushes:

And you are very welcome, Bryony. :hug:
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
:lol: People are always a-fiddlin' with my username, it seems to lend itself to nicknames. :nod:
Reply
:iconsmallcraig1606:
smallcraig1606 Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
It's a syllable thing, I think. And it's a very Australian thing to shorten names - I can't, of course, comment for the rest of the world. To have one's name shortened is in ths country a sign of affection. What would one do with your natural name, though? That is a puzzlement ... You'd probably end up with, say, "Ned". Just because.
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
"Chug" is certainly far quicker to say than "chugglepuff". *looks wise* I tend to lengthen names, for some reason... My dad is currently Captain Hat, my mother Mrs Goose and my sister Goober-Graham. :O_o: That probably just says something about my brain. Occasionally people have called me "Bry", but I absolutely hate it and try to nip it in the bud as rapidly as possible... "Ned" is definitely better. :D
Reply
:iconsmallcraig1606:
smallcraig1606 Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Ah, yes, well, the lenghtening thing is something of a national trait as well - a single-syllable name will almost invariably be lengthened (I sometimes get "Craigy", which I abhor in simialr fashion to that famous nature/vacuum dichotomy). Your names for your family, however, seem to have taken a surreal and somewhat disturbing turn ...

Oh, heavens, "Bry" - I thnk I just threw up in my mouth a little bit! ("Bri" is one of those shortennings reserves for a Brian that one merely puts up with.) Henceforth, you shall be known as "Ned". I like it. ;)
Reply
:iconahavati:
Ahavati Featured By Owner May 1, 2009  Professional General Artist
Congratulations on your Daily Deviation! Lovely work!
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
Thank you very much indeed! :)
Reply
:icongaioumonbatou:
GaioumonBatou Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2009
I liked the 13th, I could see the lamps going out as I read it. Good set of 15 you've got here, no worries about not finishing out the month. :)
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2009
Thank you! That's one of my favourites too. :) It was a shame I couldn't make it, but hopefully I've made progress during the couple of weeks I was able to keep up... ^^;
Reply
:iconjudas130:
Judas130 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2009
This piece is wonderful and captured February beautifully. Each stanza feels like a gripping short story, movie stills playing one after one. The way in how it appears rather regimental gives me a sense of silence, yet every now and then your references to sound breach the stillness with motion and vibrancy.

Very successfully executed :D
:peace:
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2009
Aw, thank you ever so much for such kind compliments! :hug:
Reply
:iconfllnthblnk:
fllnthblnk Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I see you only made it to 15, too! It's tough!

Absolutely loved 13.

Strong images all around!
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2009
Yeah, life kept happening to me! :shakefist:

Thanks very much for the kind words, fav and watch! :)
Reply
:iconnikibelia:
Nikibelia Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2009
Heya ;) I must tell you, I really like haiku number 8. The personal ads = windows in apartments images just works so very well - little views into peoples' lives. Potential for images of intimacy is there, but not really very clear, and the snapshots of lives are so piled up that you can't really see detail in any of them, and don't necessarily want to. Soyeah, I though that was a really perceptive/accurate link, and therefore awesome! ciao xx
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2009
One day I will reply so quickly that it'll happen before you even post.

Alas, today is not that day.

Thank you very much indeed, Ms Monocle, I appreciate it! :glomp: (Fear my glompery!)
Reply
:iconnikibelia:
Nikibelia Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2009
I'm now fearful that you'll go say something really weird in response to some post I haven't made yet. And I'd have to think really hard to come up with an appropriately odd original post.

Mah monocle protects me from your glomp! *smug-grin*
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2009  Student Writer
I am oddly pleased to see the pigeons thrown into disarray :) filthy buggers :D
Reply
:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2009   Writer
#11 is my favourite of the latest so far. I find those words: bloated, fat and squeezing very satisfying, and they really make me aware of the quantity of water.
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2009
Thanks ever so much for all your kind, thoughtful comments, it was so nice to receive them! And thanks for the watch, too! :heart: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. :(
Reply
:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2009   Writer
It was worth the wait. :)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2009
As for your #11 - how I can thoroughly imagine all of this happening - the sounds, the smells even!

And your #12 - which is one of my favorites in your collection so far - is a wonderful comparison! A slight adjustment if you don't mind my suggestion - because it works better when you avoid using words such as "like" and "as" which slow the flow, as does the use of redundant words ("catches" & "caught" in this case) Regarde'...

snow caught on eyelashes-
plastic bags
on tree branches


Just another way to consider juxtaposition, and not the only way, while helping it along with the use of more brevity. I don't do this often because I don't believe in showing what another haijin should write - only to give a suggestion as to another way of looking at what you've written, especially since you have encouraged it.

Enjoyable! Carry on... :floating:
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2009
Thank you! And of course I don't mind, I love suggestions! ;)
I was umm-ing and ah-ing on the "like", so I will go with your advice, and I have no idea what I was thinking with the repetition of "catch"... :dohtwo: I will blame the fact that it was late... :paranoid:

What do you think of this (if you haven't got better things to do with your time than helping me with my haiku...):
snowflakes on eyelashes—
plastic bags
caught in the branches of trees

?
I know it's not as concise as your suggestion, but I just like the sound of "branches of trees". :shrug:

Again, thank you for your help! And of course the kind compliments! :hug:

(PS I really hope to actually get a decent look at your haiku sometime this millennium... ^^;)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2009
*chuckles @ "millennium"*

I could tell you like the sound of "branches of trees". I sort of saw "branches" & "trees" as almost one and the same - a borderline act of redundancy *fakes a gasp*...

so having said that, go ahead and make the call the way you feel most comfortable. As for the word "caught", I'm not sure you need it. "in the branches of trees" would seem to me to implicate that the plastic bags have become snagged. Your thoughts on that? Something like:

snowflakes on lashes-
plastic bags
in the branches of trees


a happy medium maybe?

Oh and I would love to have you come by and give me your thoughts on my little collection whenever you're able - I look forward to your visit! :excited:
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2009
:glomp: Thank you! That suggestion is the perfect compromise. ;)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009
ah I'm so glad - careful with the incisions now :hug:
Reply
:iconkaleidopsyche:
Kaleidopsyche Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2009
Gray are winter days
She takes up a pen
The Haiku grow longer still
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2009  Student Writer
11 is a sweet tragedy in full motion :) Interesting work indeed :highfive:
Reply
:iconmaskmaker24:
Maskmaker24 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to know what the hedgehog knows now :D
Reply
:icontimeflies:
TimeFlies Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2009
So far my favourites are 4 and 5. I can only repeat what solarts already said about four - lovely juxtaposition of images.

The irony in 5 is great! Another quality juxtaposition!
Reply
:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2009   Writer
Catching up with #6-9. Great stuff.
I particularly like the depth your haiku have. There are so many layers of meaning; it's fun figuring them out in the same way I enjoy figuring out the cryptic crosswords you mention.
I especially liked the mince and the red jumper - at first it seems like a non-sequitur (sp?) but then...
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2009  Student Writer
the umbrella blooms are perfectly wonderful!
Reply
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